Curioser and Curioser!

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Pass the mushroom tea."

  “Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” -Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland On April 25, 2004, I was sitting in my car in a hotel parking lot in Colorado Springs, crying. How do I remember the date with such specificity? Because that was the day my life changed. That was the day […]

12 Things I Learned As A Middle-Aged Groupie

Deff Leppard's stage props on LSD.

In the summer of 2012, I was fortunate enough to score (through a mutual friend of Lita Ford guitarist Mitch Perry) backstage passes on the Def Leppard/Poison/Lita Ford “Rock Of Ages” tour when they played in Denver, Colorado, Jones Beach Pavilion in New York, and Albuquerque, New Mexico. From these three concert experiences, I compiled the following observations (so […]

Help Me, I Broke Apart My Insides

vagina wrecking

Let me just get this out of the way: childbirth will utterly fuck up your lady bits, as well as other parts of your anatomy that you would just as soon not think about. Which brings me to my small intestine, parts of which, due to botched post-partum repairs performed 16 years ago, are apparently […]

Finding Your Inner Bitch on Valentine’s Day

Heartbroken Woman

Let’s talk about Cadbury eggs. A good friend of mine loves Cadbury Eggs. You know—those fondant crème chocolate eggs that are ubiquitous as Peeps just before Easter. Sure, I’ve seen them at other times of the year, but they’re usually relegated to a remote corner of a Walgreens, lurking on an untouched section of shelf, […]

If This Is Love, Then Why Am I Laboring?

Labor of Love

“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” ―Stephen King, On Writing “I hate writing. I love having written.” ―Dorothy Parker In my younger years, I suffered from a condition called “rapid labor.” My first child was born about two hours after my water broke; the  second shot into the world, in about forty-five minutes, like […]

Fairy Tales: Making Your Kids Hate You, Lie To You, and Run Away From Home Since 1812


“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” ―Albert Einstein“Mothers didn’t understand that children aren’t frightened by stories; that their lives are full of far more frightening things than those contained in fairy tales.” ―Kate Morton, The Forgotten Garden […]