Be a Blog Post, Unless You Can Be a Unicorn


It would seem that we have a unicorn controversy on our hands.

One day, many moons ago, I wrote a romantic comedy called Alice in Wonderland, which takes place in Australia (i.e. Wonderland). As befits a book inspired by Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, the protagonist, Alice Faye Dahl, and her siblings–as well as her suitor and his sister–often do and say things that don’t seem to make any damn sense.

One day, about nine moons ago, another author asked me how I created all those “little promotional cards” with my book quotes on them. Since I had no idea what he was talking about, I googled my name, clicked on “images” and marveled.

Now, for all I know, these could be the result of some internet, auto-generated quote machine, but hey–they’re out there, right? (File this under “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”) Then I noticed that one of these quotes appeared with more frequency than any of the others:

Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn. 

Not only that, but there were dozens and dozens of pages where people argued over the actual wording of the quote and its origin.

Just to clarify, this particular quote is part of an exchange in Chapter 22 between Alice Faye Dahl and her sister, Dee:

[Alice] “That doesn’t mean I pretend to be someone else. I don’t know how to be something I’m not, okay? I don’t know what you learned in that fantasy world of yours growing up, but I was told to just be myself.”


“Unless you can be a unicorn,” Dee says. “In that case, you should always be a unicorn.”


I turn on her, furious. “And why don’t you shut up? I know you think you’re the funniest person in the room, but you might want to take note of the fact that no one here is laughing!”

Lip shitI’d barely recovered from the shock of watching people resorting to virtual fisticuffs over a unicorn when I received an email from a merchandising company called that sells novelty products that seem to be inspired by my snarky, irreverent, and morbid sense of humor. Such as:

So…guess who wanted to turn my Alice unicorn quote into a pack of gum? Don’t believe me? Take a peek at the barely legible, microscopic words on the lid: “Artificial Flavor DIVA PRESS ©2015 FS1040.” Diva Press, Inc is the name of my company, and I don’t think you can get any more artificial than me, right?

So I signed a licensing agreement with them and then I kind of forgot about it until the FedEx guy had the audacity to wake me up at the ungodly hour of 10AM one day to deliver these:


The moral of this story is this:

Be yourself. Unless you can sell out and make some money; then you should always be as mercenary as humanly possible.  

And you’re welcome. ♥

Alice in Wonderland (a Romantic Comedy) by Elle LothlorienRead Chapters 1-3 of Alice in Wonderland (a Romantic Comedy).
Available on Amazon.




  • Krista Reply

    Oh wow!!! I love that quote! So cool you are the author of it 🙂 looking forward to reading your work! (I’d choose to be a unicorn part time)

    • Elle Lothlorien Reply

      I would also like to purchase the unicorn mask in the opening photo. Looks a little hot and sweaty under there, but being a bad-ass unicorn would eliminate any discomfort I might experience. 🙂

  • Jane Wells Reply

    Oh. I need that.

    Which?, you ask.

    All. Of. That.

    • Elle Lothlorien Reply

      Right? I pretty much wanted to order everything on the site. 🙂

  • Marian Sheridan Reply

    I loved Alice in Wonderland. And there’s nothing wrong with being a unicorn!

  • Carolyn McElwee Reply

    I believe we all have a little part that wants to be something imaginary and unique. If it’s a unicorn that’s great. Whatever it is, just be yourself and let the rest of the world marvel at you!

  • Courtney Cogswell Reply

    First of all, I own that mask because I have been an obsessive unicorn collector since childhood and my brother thought the mask was a perfect Christmas gift several years ago. I can personally attest that it is just as sweaty and hot as it looks. I love that quote as well and I had no idea where it originated until I stumbled upon your books (ironically through my only other unicorn crazed friend). And now I’m an avid Elle Lothlorien fan as well so thank you to unicorns for bringing me to the magic of your stories!

    • Elle Lothlorien Reply

      I know I shouldn’t be surprised that someone out there in Frog Nation owns the unicorn mask. Birds of a feather, etc. I’m so glad you’re my people! ♥

  • Winona Cross Reply

    Only you, Elle! The Adventures of an Author: Elle Lothlorian.

  • Oqlarnica Reply

    Dear Elle! It’s lovely to finally find out whose quote I’ve liked since the very first time I’ve heard it. 🙂 Apart from my (almost 2 years old) Daughter <3, Unicorns also have become an inspiration in my studio. You are always very welcomed to drop by and take a look. Best wishes. xoxo

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